07.28

On on of my last days in Rome I really don't know what to write about anymore. I saw more beautiful things in one month than I probably have seen in my whole life. It was completely amazing. I miss home. I know I'll miss this when I get home. I am wondering where I want to save up to go to next.

07.26

The last week of Rome is begining to make me feel slightly rushed. I have seen everything so many times that I feel comfortable too. I want to see things 'one last time' maybe in order to solidify their image in me. I think I passed the Pantheon about 10 time in the past month. Joe and I walked around downtown everyday we were in Rome on this trip. Its one of the few things that still get to me once I walk around it. The size and just planning of it amazes me. I laugh and think that all those poor people who made it probably hoped that after all that work it would stay up for a while, I'm sure they never imagined that it would be up almost 2 millenia. I hasn't rained, I want to see it when it rains. That will give me a good reason to come back. I am finding myself putting off some things so that I have a few things to see if i come back one day. I want to be able to see things for the first time and really appreciate them if I come back. At this point I've seen more than I had ever imagined to see in my life, I feel I would appreciate these other things another time. I also have had a small cathartic moment while here. We talked about that in class and I think I had mine. I decided that I want to be a teacher. I have been back and forth as to what to do when I graduate in December. I wanted to go to Design school but it seems like an incredibly expensive undertaking. I also have little experience in Design in my undergrad. I could possibly get a job in Graphic Design but I realized that I don't want to work in advertising or web design at all. I want to teach art or art history. I'm going to go to school for secondary teaching but maybe later I'll go back for my MFA or PHD to teach in college. I'm happy I realized this and I don't know why I had to be in Italy to realize it.

07.24

I keep thinking about how that woman in the Binale had such a similar photo documentary as me. Joe says that I should be proud that my idea was in an international art exibit but I am kind of let down. I like my own interpretation of the memorials. It makes me want to think up a new documentary to do this semester. I think I really enjoy that more than any other type of photography. I enjoy the allegorical content that I can express in them.

07.21

Venice was a very different place to visit. It was the only place on the trip I didn't research beforehand. I know that researching on trips can be very helpful and sometimes detrimental to a trip. I feel like I'm the type of person who would want to know the background history of every aspect of something before I see it. Joe on the other hand, doesn't mind knowing these things but enjoys the whole 'whinging it' approach to travel. Naturally he was happy when we pulled into the dock in Venice and I declared that I had no idea or plans on what we should see or do there. The city was an architechtural maze of houses that seemed to not be occupied. That was one of the most disheartening things on the trip to Italy I think. I was told later that Venice is so expensive that it drives out most natives and the buildings are owned by rich European and American people who use them as summer getaways. I did enjoy the house across the canal from the non-airconditioned monastary that we stayed in. There seemed to be a normal venetian family living there, who I saw eating dinner, watching tv, getting ready for work and listening to avril lavigne (they love her everywhere in italy for some reason) together. Other than that I couldn't really distinguish from tourists who was just going about their daily lives there. Back to my point. Venice was a breeding ground for commodity fettishism. We discussed in class the idea of 'Italy Inc." and Venice was a perfect example of this. I saw two kids getting their picture taken by their parents in front of the Prada store! I didn't get it. I suppose its nice to get home and walk past your own Prada store and be like 'Well I got my bag in Venice, not in that store that has the same one."

On a completely different note the Giardino was gorgeous, the binale was fun, even though the American showing was horrible. The Binale was a really awesome experience and was a nice refresher after ingesting all of the renaissance and baroque art for weeks. I was really let down that not a single other art student on the trip wanted to go see it with us. How can people dismiss modern art but act as though they are art aficionados? It makes absolutely no sense to me.

07.18

Today I saw the David-It was simple but I get why people love it. The eyes and the hands were the most impressive part for me. The hands were large but powerful. They fit even though they shouldn't have. The statue made me quiet for a moment.


The Ufizzi gallery also doubles as a sauna in the summer months in case tourists need it. The gallery was pretty amazing otherwise. I think I stood in front of Botticelli's "Primavera" for 15 minutes just staring. There have been only a few things in my life that I have done that with (the coliseum) but that painting just sucked me in. I had to copy a section of it in a painting class last year and spent a lot of time looking at it in a book. I knew many of the curves of the figures, the colors of the flowers, the pose of the woman's feet. When you know something so well and you finally see it in real life, it just stops you cold. The painting is seamless. I know the parts that are awkward, the extra long arms, the foreheads that are too short or protruding. When you paint something you have to see all of these things in order to copy correctly. There were no brush marks or obvious lines. I followed it with my eyes. I wish I could appreciate everything I saw the way in which I did to that painting.


In Florence I went to some of their open markets to look at all their handmade goods. I wasn't really looking for anything in particular but was instantly caught up in the beauty of it. They sold usable beautiful things, not plastic statues and packs of postcards. I didn't even need a purse but instantly wanted one. The smell of the leather in the hot sun, mixed with that odor of the working Italian vendor filled the air around me. I found one I liked and found the initial asking price to be 35 euros. I am a terrible haggler and even if I could get them to price that down I didn't think I could afford that. I felt a weird dilemma. I work hours and hours at home to make money to save it for this trip. I still have money and could definately get by on this trip if I buy this purse. I start to think 'at home I don't even want or like purses that look like this why do I want this now?' I then am reminded of what my aunt said to me when she gave me 50 dollars right before I left. "Keep it and don't spend it until you find something you really want and wouldn't buy it for yourself, then use this money, thats what your Grandfather used to always say." I was completely torn. I left the market. I thought about it more. There were so many things on this trip that I would have probably wanted in a moment like that. I secretly wanted a more expensive bag too and the cheaper ones that I was looking at weren't even that great. Also I decided before I left that I would spend my money more on experiences than on souveneirs. I later bought a book when we left the Ufizzi, I love it and I don't regret it at all. It was much cheaper but something that I'll always have to look back on and learn from.
(i also got myself a pashmina scarf ;() )

07.17

Today I went to the Vatican Museum. Its hard to enjoy anything when its 100 degrees out and you are surrounded by hoardes of Japanese tourist groups with large Nikon SLRs and umbrellas getting shoved into you. I did really enjoy what I saw. The museum holds some of the most influential pieces of art ever made. It is set up to guide to through to the finale of the Sistine Chapel. I understand why they do this but while sweating and getting pushed through the museum I was resenting this set up. I was completely pushed past the apollo belvedere and only got a quick glimpse of the Laocaan (I am returning to the museum for a free trip in a week). This made me sad but after a while I got so frustrated with the people of the museum (i had waited over 2 hours to even enter) that I started to rush through to the Raphael Stanze. I became totally let down by myself because of this. This had been the only place thus far that I had to wait on any type of line over 15 minutes to get into on the trip. I should have been able to handle it but it wore me down. The Raphaels were brilliant and I got a chance to stand and enjoy them. After getting over my initial shock of being grabbed by the arm and pulled away from Joe when I entered the Sistine Chapel, it was really amazing. The fact that you can't take non-flash pictures is completely ridiculous. The images are much better in real life than in books. I felt that some of the body shadings were so incredibly different between sections I wondered if they were from Michaelangelo himself or the restoration. Either way he used some hot orange and teal colors that are just amazing for his time. Some of the legs of the martyrs seemed to be coming out of the ceiling at us. I especially enjoyed some of the side frescoes (good ol Perugino and co.) and the wall tapestry paintings were incredible. They were some of the most meticulous paintings I have ever seen.

07.16

I worry some days when I am in this city that I am not creative or dedicated enough. How did all these artists work so meticulously for years on these projects? How did they find the drive to complete the tasks? How much did they struggle with their craft to make it better than the person before them? I wish that I could make one thing that has a teaspoon full of that kind of dedication in it. Maybe I am not into any cause like the artists seemed to be dedicated to their faith. These artists didn't have the type of visual exposure that I had in my life. They didnt have any type of outward media. They still made stunning visual creations without having to be exposed to this. I try not to let myself be affected by some of the things I see in my own visual culture but it seems that it is impossible. I am a product of it. What I make is a product of it. I can not undo my own exposure to what I've seen and its affect of my output. This helps me greatly admire the output of those artists whose works are scattered all over Rome.

07.14

"What you are I once was, Where I am you will soon be" - quote from 'Holy Trinity' by Massaccio.

07.12

pompeii was quiet. It was hotter than I imaged it would be. It was one of the few places I've ever been in my life where I felt an open connection with the sky around me. The hill that the city is placed upon leaves it totally open to the sky around it. The land slopes down around it for many miles and you are left open to the heavens. Obviously Mt Vesuvius lurks in the distance but it wasn't as daunting as I thought it would be. I felt like the air was clear and I was on some type of land island in the sky. I wished I had more time to explore but my class was on a tight schedule. Either way the whole place was marvelous. I think I was one of the 2 people who actually enjoyed it.

07.11

The whole movie project made me worry right away because I have trouble seeing things in that medium. Then being told that it had to be shot in the same park by everyone made it even worse. It actually wasn't too too terrible to create after I stopped and looked around the park for ideas. Our movie was a sort of discussion on the ideas of the golden section and the fibanacci sequence that we talked about in class. Joe and I agree with the need and desire to fit beautiful things into some type of mathematical scheme. To create a unifier among a vast amount of things is much easier than it may sound. To draw basic geometric allusions and infer ratios between man made and natural things is suprisingly easy to do in Italy. It might be just as easy to do at home too. I think that balance is more more prominent here. I do agree that time was taken to create an order and symmetry in so many things that are around me here. We both thought that many of the ideas and images we saw in class seemed to be forced into this idea. The section can be draw upon most things if you look for the lines on it. On a whole most cities are a mixture of these principals, thrown together in a heap, attempting to keep balanced. Some cities, like Rome, seem to emit some type of grandeur that others don't. I think its because of the "flow" that is created by the architechture and surroundings. The softness of marble mixed with the rigid tile roofs. Who knows. The point I am trying to get to is that my eyes were whirling in circles when I tried to place this city into some sequential idea. Maybe I'm not math minded (obviously) and maybe I instinctively use these ideas already. Maybe I use them and see in them so much that I can't decipher it further without breaking down my entire optical view?

07.13

My mind thinks in individual frames. It tries to see things and explain them in one concise image. The park had all of those gorgeous umbrella pines that looked like the alveoli in lungs. I saw a whole nature/human/body/balance idea when I looked around. The comparisons were endless and my eyes were searching furiously to organize what I was thinking when we shot our scenes. I tried to express this overwelming inhalation of imagery in the movie. Repitition was key for me because I feel like I see things and then I have that image. My cognition is my best souvenier. If I remember what I see I can always see it and repeat is as I please.

Line was incredibly important to me in the visuals so we placed a lot of our linear oriented ideas throughout the film. The lines expressed the parts of a balanced whole, which is essential in a city like Rome. We also used these elements to make a sort of visual allusion to “Un Chien Andalusa”. It only felt fitting to make a quick nod to that amazing surrealist short. It was a movie completely made up of symbolism. Our own movie attempts to use symbolism for its main communication.

07.10

How much time and thought was put into each one of those sculptures? each one of those paint strokes? each one of those archways?

How do you see the way that they saw?

“Here lies Raphael, who during his life made Nature fear that he would master it, and when he died, made it die with him" - Epitaph of Raphael

07.09

I have been trying to do that whole lame, "see outside myself" thing on this trip. I feel like I only have a short time to fully grasp where I am and what is around me here. Perspective is what I yearn for and even if my attempts are futile, they still challenge me a little more than normal. The funny thing is that without even trying that hard this city has made me question. My eyes are such an integral part of my thoughts that so many things I see are affecting me. I am asking myself things, wondering, looking around for more. I thought of the artist Richard Serra and his big core-ten installations. You walk around these looming walls of steel and explore them with your eyes and create relationships between you and it. The experience is supposed to be self exploration through experience on a minimalist scale. I think this is exactly what I am doing. Walking through a maze of city, swirling in and out of blocks, seeing myself there comparatively.

07.08

I found the island of Capri to be a little too crowded for my taste. It may be because I am quite pessimistic when it comes to beach resorty tourist trap type places. I know it is easy to write off extremely crowded, overly kitchy, expensive places as 'tourist traps' but I can't help but slip Capri into that category. I was very very impressed with the outward beauty of the island and the views we got from the chairlift thing and the boat ride. I think maybe it was the fact that we spent the first two hours of our stay on the island at the top where there was nothing but chotchke shops and high couture shopping. My wallet and I were not really into that whole thing. It is easily relate able to the commodity fetishism we discuss in class. I also am immediately turned off when we are led around in tour groups and herded places on this trip. I don't know why I am wired to despise this but I can't help it. I did enjoy taking a dip in the Mediterranean ocean. The water was very salty but more refreshing than any amount of fanta I could ingest today.

07.07

Today I swam in a lagoon that was the color of saphires. I am too tired to write.

07.06

In Rome it seems the city tries very hard to keep some type of balance between old and new. Things begin to impede on each other and back off in other places. They exist with some mutual understanding of each other. The clergy sit on the bus with the young groping couples. The buildings push and shove each other for space around ancient ruins and tourist attractions. I am forced to view this only from my outsiders gaze. I find it hard to discern if this is a good thing or a terrible thing. I hope that it is some type of conglomeration of both. It has all the makings of a challenging and yet fufilling human relationship.

07.05.07

Order and symmetry make seeing easier. I do believe that our eye is naturally attracted to symmetry. I do agree that composistion creates order where it was not once before. Things can be in complete chaos around you but the eye can discern and frame out a balance if needed.

07.04.07

I attempted to capture "transistions" today while treking through Rome. I found this assignment loose and to be something that i could explore in my new environment. I can't help but take all the cliche touristy photos of the monuments. I don't feel bad when i take them because I know when i get home I'll be mad if i didn't capture them to remember. I know that I am clouded by the newness of this beautiful place. I can't help but let my eyes wander around each sculpture, window, portico, marble step of each place that i walk by. I'm such a dork. I think that everyday I am seeing more and taking in more of the things around me here. My gaze is slowly shifting.